Why must I be so awkward all the time?

I'm very disappointed in myself. I'm 21 years old, and earlier today a very attractive blonde invited me to her home for hook-up sex. I arrived at 8:00p.m and we had till 11:00p.m (that's when her roommates get home). She had me perform oral on her for 30 minutes straight while she sat on my face, my mouth hurt and I did not enjoy it. In my fantasies, I love doing it but not so much in real life. It seems like this always happens when I hook-up with someone, I spend so much time worrying about whether my partner is satisfied that I don't even enjoy sex. It took forever to c*m because I was so nervous. Afterward, I took a really bad fall on her steps while trying to get to my car and hit her mailbox while backing up out of her incredibly long drive way at night. Luckily, her mailbox was still standing (I hope I didn't dent it). Why am I so awkward? Is this God's way of telling me that I suck?